The July topic for our blog carnival is: burning the midnight oil, unschooling sleep and sleeplessness.
Enjoy Life Unschooling

Isn’t that the million dollar question. We get asked this by so many people. The short answer is that Charles carries them to bed after they go to sleep.
The latest question is “Does Samuel sleep through the night?” Someone asked me if he was sleeping through the night when he was only a week old. Umm….NO! Babies need to wake during the night. They need to eat!
Thinking back, the girls never had a set bedtime. They fall asleep when they’re tired though.
We notice when they are getting sleepy, and so do they. They have always been night owls, the whole family is. That’s just how we roll.

We used to follow a strict bedtime routine. Bath, books, snack, bed. That doesn’t work so much for us anymore, so we started trying new things. Now we are seeing where things go when we’re home. Maybe they don’t want to read books, that’s ok. Maybe they want to sit on the couch with us and watch TV, or maybe they want to color, or do a puzzle, and sometimes they do want to read books. Sometimes they want to sit and talk with us.

Since we stopped trying to force them into sleep around the same time every night with our routine, and just let the evening flow like we do during the day, we seem to have much more peaceful nights.

Driving around at night has come to be one of our night time family activities. Everything looks different at night.
We also use it to get the girls to sleep sometimes. We talk and call it our mini date after the girls are asleep while we drive the rest of the way home.

Charles took Ava for a quick 10 minute drive last night. She was overtired, and having trouble falling alseep, and staying asleep. Must be the motion of the car, and the sound.
Nakiah stayed home with me, and played some games on the computer. She beat the game and was so proud of herself.  After she was done with her game, she told Charles she wanted to go to sleep on him, and that’s exactly what she did. She climbed into his lap, and went to sleep.

The other day we went to the mall, and after the mall closed we decided to take a stroll through downtown.
We came upon a band in the Town Square. There were water fountains, restaurants, and tables to sit and enjoy the music. There were also several kids out in the middle of the square dancing to the music.
Charles and the girls danced around for a bit.
We didn’t leave there until about 10pm. We would have missed that time together if we had a strict bedtime, had to be home by 7pm, and forced the girls to go to sleep.
That was an impromptu family date night. We all really enjoyed ourselves.

One time Charles took them out in the backyard late at night. They found frogs, saw the stars and listened to the crickets chirp.
Another time we gave them flashlights to explore the house with the lights out.

Some nights Charles will take Nakiah upstairs, and I’ll stay downstairs with Ava and Samuel. I’ll put a cartoon on for her. She will either fall asleep watching it, or fall asleep as the 2nd show is coming on.
I love sitting up with her watching the shows. She says the cutest things.She’ll lay across the couch, or cuddle up to me and fall asleep when she’s ready.

Samuel sleeps in the wrap for the most part during the day. Sometimes I’ll lay him down. He starts the night out in the wrap most of the time as well. He falls sleep when he’s tired, and we don’t question that.
Why do we question if and when our kids are tired as they start to get older?

We’re learning to trust more and more that just as they learned to walk and talk w/out us, they are learning to fall asleep when they are tired.Our kids are learning how to listen to their bodies.
They are learning how to listen to their bodies when they feel hungry, and when they need to potty, so why not trust them when it comes to sleep?
For those times when they need help transitioning to sleep, we’re here to help them do that.
We’re learning to quit forcing the issue, and learning how to create a quiet, sleepy environment for them.

We co-sleep. The girls in a twin next to our bed, and Samuel in the bed with us.
If you want specific details, I’m on the end, Samuel is in the middle, Charles, Nakiah and then Ava.
Since Charles started sleeping on the other end next to Nakiah, she wakes less during the night. Before she would get up and climb into bed with us, and we didn’t mind that, but now she can just reach her hand over to touch Daddy’s face.

This is what works for us right now. As their needs change, we will be here to help them with the transition.

Thank You for taking the time to read The Mahogany Way!

This post is for inclusion in the Enjoy Life Unschooling Blog Carnival.

This months theme is “To Open”.

• The name April is of Latin origin, and its meaning is “to open”.
• What does that mean to you?
  
• What doors do Radical Unschooling open?
• How have you “opened” since discovering unschooling?

Have fun, get messy, make mistakes!

Unschooling changed how we interact with each other.

When I first saw the theme for this months carnival. I also thought of the word free.
I can honestly say that we have transformed as a family this past year.
One thing that I love, the girls feel free and confident enough to correct us when we’re wrong.
They also feel free to share how they feel with us, if we’ve said or done something to upset them, they have no problem telling us.

The other day Charles was talking about something and he said the word stupid. Nakiah was quick to correct him “Daddy we don’t say that word, it’s not nice.”
This afternoon My dad took something out of my hand, and he wasn’t snatching it, but again Nakiah corrected him. “Peepaw you need to ask first. You can’t take it away”
Another example, I was in the kitchen cooking, and Ava was looking for her shoes. I couldn’t leave the food yet, so I told her I would help her in a few minutes. I told her the shoes were upstairs. I must have sounded annoyed, or raised my voice, she said “Mommy, I don’t like when you yell at me like that.” I told her I was sorry, and she said “that’s ok!” hugged me and went to get her shoes.
Our kids keep us honest. I love that. Even though it may be hard to hear that I’ve hurt their feelings, I’m glad they know they can come to me. They know that how they feel, and what they think really does matter.

 Freedom

I have a new way of thinking about so many things beyond “education”
The world looks different. I’m seeing the world through my childrens eyes. As adults I think it’s easy for us to get caught up in how we think our kids should see the world. They are teaching me so much everyday.
I love sharing our days with Charles. he gets the biggest kick out of their new discoveries, and hearing their stories about the day.
When you think about it, they have only been here such a short time. Three and five years is not long at all.
The time goes by so quickly though.
We are free all day everyday. No set schedule to follow.
We can wake when our bodies feel we’ve had enough rest. Usually the girls feel rested way before I do!
I love that we can come and go as we please.
While other kids are in school learning about nature from a book, we are out in nature learning and exploring first hand.

One day it’s the park, or the mall, the library, a playdate, a museum, hanging out at home. It doesn’t have to be the same routine day after day, and they know that. “Mommy can we go to the park?” Sure!
We can stay for as long as we want. Daddy shows them how to skip rocks, they pick flowers for me, they talk about the shapes and animals they see in the clouds.
Every single thing, no matter how simple is amazing when you can see it through your childs eyes.

 
I’m more Open!

It’s nice to let things flow. I’m used to being a perfectionist. I’m becoming more spontaneous. I feel more calm sometimes, not having to, or feeling the need to keep everything so structured 24/7
I do still have my moments where I like things to be in their place, but I’m not pushing that off on them. They like to help me clean up, and they will put things back without me asking them to.
I’ve learned to let things be, let the kids be kids. If they want to play in the dirt or mud, no problem, we can wash it off later.
I actually like being with my kids, not that I didn’t before, but I think I took them for granted.
Instead of always thinking “when is this stage and age going to pass?” Now I think “this is only a stage, and they are only going to be this age for a short time” One day I’m going to look up and my babies will be grown. I want to enjoy them today, right now, just as they are for who they are. Not tomorrow or next year.

I don’t buy them a toy, or take them to a museum in hopes that they will learn about xyz. I take them because I know they will enjoy it, or because they asked me to. I also know they are going to learn from the experience, because that’s how kids are. We can’t stop them from learning.
I also feel like I’ve become a much more involved parent.
People think unschooling is for lazy people, and it’s quite the opposite. I’m pouring more of myself into the girls, and their interest. I’m always on the hunt for something new, or ways to connect the dots to an interest they already have.

There is no need to be like everyone else, or live by what society says is the right way.
It feels so good to let that way of thinking go. 
As I said many times before, unschooling has become a lifestyle for us. It has poured into everything we do, say, and how we treat others. I’m glad that we are on this journey, and I see it getting better as time goes on.

Thank You for taking the time to read The Mahogany Way!