:: Love the Behavior, Too ::
When a child’s behavior is deemed inappropriate, the
conventional wisdom is to “Love the child, hate the
Hmmm… It’d be nice if children could make the subtle
distinction between self and behavior, but even adults
have a hard time with that! If your partner tells you
s/he hates your behavior, is it any less discouraging
to hear, “but I love YOU”?
Our behavior is a reflection of who we are at the
moment. Hating your child’s behavior is like saying
you don’t love the part of your child that wants to
behave that way. To love unconditionally, you must
find a way to love the behavior, too.
Fortunately, *loving* unwanted behavior doesn’t mean
*wanting* it or even tolerating it. You can love
unwanted behavior even as you take steps to change it!
But be open to the possibility that Love will
transform you, your child, and your relationship, such
that you no longer feel a need to change anything.
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
Stop by the Necessary Room for more Conscious Friday.