It’s just after 2am and I’m sitting here looking at pictures on instagram from this time last year. I’m wondering where did the time go? I try really hard to be HERE but I can’t stop thinking about the past and wondering about the future. This place of Here is a hard spot to be in. It’s been a tough year and I would love to catch my breath before the next big storm hits, apparently that’s not how my life is supposed to be right now. All I can think is that I’m not supposed to be here! This is not what I envisioned for my life. It’s not fair. I’m done. I want off this ride ASAP!
I always feel like even with the smallest steps forward it’s not enough to propel me to the HERE I so desperately want to be in. What can I do about that? I wait. I pray. I hope. I take baby steps. I gain faith one minute and lost it the next. I’m trying really hard to accept this place I’m at right now. This HERE that is sooooo uncomfortable yet completely necessary. I don’t like it but I am learning to accept it.