Not Guilty = License To Kill

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I don’t talk about this here very often . To be honest a lot of my White Christian friends either don’t get it, or don’t care to get it. All they seem to be concerned about is the that the trial is finally over and now they can resume their regularly scheduled program of preaching the gospel to everyone. Let’s gloss over the fact that a child was murdered because he was black. I am no less of a Christian because I’m not posting scriptures across my page. The fact that you are and seem to have no emotion on this killing of a child tells me you are so detached from the reality of racism and you’re probably raising your children to believe the same. Sad. If it makes you feel better to pretend racism doesn’t exist and that prayer will fix it, well, I feel sorry for you and your complete ignorance.

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I’m a Christian, I love God and I pray too. As a Black mother to two black girls and a black son, I really wasn’t prepared for the sadness and anger I’ve felt since last night. I’m not saying that prayer won’t help, but your lack of acknowledging the truth makes it very clear that you are seriously uncomfortable talking about race, and you are unaware of your white privilege. To me, that says you don’t want to learn and would rather go on living in your safe bubble of ignorance. That makes me sad for your children and especially mine. I will not keep quiet on this subject. I will not agree with you that prayer will make us all feel better and I most certainly will not agree with you that this wasn’t a hate crime because it was.

How nice it must be to live your life not having to worry about being racially profiled. What does it feel like to know you can send your son out at night and he will return home to you? Will you still teach your children that color doesn’t exist and that we are all equal? You are telling them lies and it needs to stop. You don’t want to talk about the truth because it’s not your truth. I can’t understand that. I didn’t sleep well last night because I kept thinking of Trayvon’s family and couldn’t stop thinking about how terrified Trayvon must have felt. He was probably wondering what he did wrong and why this man was assaulting him. What’s the crime in walking home with candy and tea? Nothing, as long as you aren’t black. The realization that my children are growing up in a world that thinks less of them because of the color of their skin was driven deep inside me last night. Samuel is 3yrs old now and in 10-14 years he will be looked at as suspicious. How am I supposed to tell him not to look suspicious, I mean, what does a suspicious person look like? Black.

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Not Guilty = License To Kill. While others are concerned with what to feed their family for lunch today, the black community is wondering what’s next? It’s not a matter of if our children will experience racism, it’s a matter of when. My heart is so broken right now, for Trayvon and his family and for all Black families across the world. Is this how my parents felt when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated? I can’t see this feeling going away. It will stick with me and I need it to.

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George Zimmerman being set free for killing Trayvon Martin has me wanting to toss all of my children’s white dolls in the trash and tell them they can only keep and buy black dolls and other dolls of color. I want to read books about black children written by black authors, and tell them they can only watch shows where there is a black female/male lead. I won’t do that though. They know nothing of this child’s death or the trial. They’re too young to comprehend right now. I’ll keeping doing what I’ve been doing , but I will be more aggressive in seeking out dolls of color and books of color for them. I won’t push my sadness and anger on them and ruin their innocence. How can I look at their beautiful brown skin and their dark brown eyes, and raise them to feel safe in a world that doesn’t want them here?

I don’t want sympathy. I want real talk, real change. Stop telling me to hide my feelings so you will feel comfortable. Stop making racist jokes because we’re friends and you think it’s ok. Stop asking me how I feel and what I would do as a Black Woman. I am not here as your personal research pet. If you want to know how to talk with your kids about racism…buy a book, Google it. Don’t call on me when you want to reach the communities of color because I’m one of the few black friends you have or know.
Stop telling me that you don’t see color when you look at me and my children, because I see the privilege that comes with your color when I look at you and your children.