I had been thinking about this post since before New Years. It was going to be epic, and then Monday happened.
I was an emotional wreck all day yesterday. I cried because I had been thinking about how amazing our life is, I cried because of all the unfair things we’ve dealt with. Samuel lost his first tooth last night and fell asleep without me, and this morning he tells me he’s ready for a haircut. Too many big kid things happening at once!
There is no word for the year, no big resolutions. I had a good feeling going into 2015 and it turned out to be an amazing year.
Last year my main goal was to move back home, and I was intentional with everything I did the first six months of 2015 to ensure I would be able to make that move.
I’m excited about 2016, but also feeling a little uneasy. I don’t know what’s next and not knowing bothers me. It makes me feel like I have very little control and that leaves me feeling vulnerable. Maybe because I’m not working towards one big goal, but several smaller ones.
I could be really happy if my life stayed the way it is. I’m content and could go on enjoying how comfortable life is, but I don’t want it to mean I start settling or stop pushing myself. It’s past time for me to step out of my comfort zone. You’ve probably heard me talk about this before…I don’t like speaking in front of people and I don’t like doing video. I get nervous and the thought makes me feel ill, but I’m going to try it anyway. I set up Periscope a few months ago and my first experience scared me off, but I’m ready to try again. I liked it better than YouTube. If you want to follow me on Periscope, username MahoganyWayMama. Thinking I’ll do my first introductory scope next week.
Been really honest with myself when making business and personal plans and goals.
I would love to have a coaching/consulting business, but now is not the time to do it. I could probably pull it off, but I don’t want to barely get by with making it work. My kids are still pretty young and I don’t want to take on something that for me would be a big project. Instead I’m turning my focus to goals and dreams that I can easily work into my current schedule. I’m still plugging away on my Unschooling with Autism e-book, and I would like to have it ready to go by April, which happens to be Autism Awareness month. This book has definitely been written in mom time. I have another business idea in the works, but I’m not ready to release the details just yet. I can tell you that it didn’t take long for me to go from dreaming about it to making it a reality. I am super excited about it!
I want to enjoy the process no matter what it is I’m working on. That part can be difficult for me because I’m constantly second guessing myself. People assume I’m always confident since I have this loud and big personality, but that’s not the case.
My determination is bigger than my fear and that’s why I keep putting myself out there.