1. I so wish I was there to give you a hug, listen and enjoy a cup of tea with you. I understand much too well how you are feeling, I too am moving through some things I thought I had already moved past, but they keep coming up. Every time I feel like I have surfaced and found some air, a big hand comes and pushes me down again, at least it has been that way the last few weeks. The last few days have been good, and I am trying to ride that wave as long as I can.

    Hang in there my friend, and know you are in my thoughts. Be kind to yourself. xo
    Kim recently posted…Morning on the HomesteadMy Profile

    • Darcel

      It’s important to enjoy those good moments. I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. I remember the roller coaster of the beginning stages of single motherhood. It does eventually get easier, and you’ll be able to move past the pain a lot quicker. I’m almost 4years out and it’s a very long process to endure.

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!

  2. Kaitlin

    That kind of asthma sounds so hard. After a couple respiratory infections I get stressed every time my daughter has a long-running cough. I hope someone nearby can come help, even to give you an hour’s walk or a few hours sleep in a row. Not too much to ask.

    • Darcel

      I can understand why you would be stressed. Asthma or not, respiratory infections are nothing to mess around with. I did get a few hours of sleep since the kids slept fairly well last night. The cough sounds less intense each day, so that makes me happy. Asthma is rough, and now I understand how my parents must’ve felt when I was a kid. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!

  3. I’m so sorry you are going through so much. I think you are doing an amazing job. It’s the hardest most emotionally exhausting thing to see our children sick. I don’t blame you for just wanting to switch off during those small moments you get the chance to. Be gentle on yourself. The writing will happen. Take care. Hugs xx
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    • Darcel

      Hey Suzy, It s rough to see them sick. In the moment I feel kind of numb to it because I’m so used to dealing with it. Once they’re on the other side, like now, I can start to come a little undone.

  4. I’m sending you cyber hugs from VA. :) I’d love to say that it’s something in the air making us all feel like a big mess. Your children will always be proud of you. And they will remember everything that you have done for them. Your tribe of single moms stands behind you, and next to you whether in person or virtually. It’ll get better. (I know it’s such a cliche) But it has to. Sometimes that’s all we have to hold on to. :) HUGGGGZZZZZZZ

    • Darcel

      You would move back to VA when I move away, lol.
      I definitely think this crazy weather and lack of sunshine has something to do with how a lot of us are feeling. I know my kids don’t see it all or understand it right now, but I’m ok with that. It means I’ve done a goof job at protecting them from the details of the crap we’ve had to endure. I know it will get better. Just told someone else today ” Nothing stays the same…we just need to keep pushing, and eventually things will get better.”

  5. No matter how hard they are to endure, breaking points are neccessary. I wish you much strength during the times you need it. You don´t always need to be strong and have everything together. I´m much sleep deprived myself but realise it´ll pass. At least I really hope so!! Sweet dreams to you!

    • Darcel

      They are necessary. Helps me to slow down and focus on what’s really important.
      Deep down I know there’s no need to always be strong, but for some reason I still feel like it’s expected of me. Hope you’re able to get some rest!

  6. You should know that those “other single moms” you mentioned are human too. Everybody puts on their best face out in the world, but we all have our moments of doubt, stress and downright ugly. You need a break. I have a friend who is very active in her church and had two young daughters. Her husband had to take a job across the country and she was on her own for the better part of a year, while he got settled and found them all a place to live. She reached out to members of the church for babysitting and even a mommy assistant (a teen who can hang out in the house with you and help with you there). If you put it out there, you may find there are plenty of people who would be willing to take some pressure off of you and help you get your balance back. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK (even if you think nobody wants to take care of your sick kids – ask anyway).

    And, I don’t know what it’s like in your state, but in California, the state has respite services available for parents of kids with autism. Here, they are hired from home healthcare organizations, so they are qualified to distribute meds as well as take general care of the kids.

    Don’t stress about the writing. You are a beautiful writer. When you are ready, the ideas will come.

    Virtual hugs.
    Deborah Sale Butler recently posted…UpgradesMy Profile

    • Darcel

      Hi Deborah, thanks for reading and commenting.

      In the past I’ve asked a couple people to watch the kids for me, they weren’t sick. The other two stayed with a friend one day last month when my daughter was in the hospital.
      I’ve had a couple people volunteer to help, but I don’t like asking. I always feel like I’m intruding on their life or interrupting their day. Since I’m being honest, I’ll say this….when people are going through stuff like this, especially dealing with sick kids in the hospital, we should not have to go around asking for help. People should come to us and dive in with their help. If we see people in need then we should find a way to fill it.

      My son has severe food allergies and there are a handful of people that I trust to use the epipen on him if he were to ever need it. If that makes someone nervous then I completely understand and would rather them not watch my kid.
      Even still, I do need to work on reading out more. If people have told me they want to help in the past then I can ask those people to help. I’m sure they would love to.

      As for the Autism services…thankfully my daughter doesn’t need meds or anything like that. Thank you for sharing. I can pass that information on.

      Thanks for the compliment on my writing. You made me smile.

  7. Love your real, raw, honesty. You are strong, but it’s ok to be real. To have a hard day (or week or month…). Praying for you and remembering back to my single mom days (and I had only one child then) and knowing how hard HARD it was some days and others were so good. Remembering how I felt and the need to always put on my game face — that we were “ok” — yeah, right. Feeling like no one really wanted to know the truth of how hard it was at times. You are right…people should be helping. But, my friend, please don’t hesitate to ask your church for help. I think that sometimes people assume that needs are met and often assume that strong women don’t need help. But they should still ask. Praying the Lord will provide and surround you with His peace. Praying this season passes quickly. Praying health for your sweeties. Sending a hug and much love. :)
    xo Lisa
    Lisa recently posted…knitting, painting, superbowling, weekending…My Profile

    • Darcel

      I didn’t know you were a single mom! I’ve had various people reach out in the past and I have asked for help, but real life isn’t like they portray on TV. Everyone is living their lives, everyone is busy, and no one wants to feel like they are bothering someone. I’m just tired and there is no catching up on sleep or housework. I’m trying to focus on and be happy that everyone is in good health and enjoy it while it lasts.

  8. I wish I had a magical potion or answers to help you through this season of challenges. The best thing that helped was not to ignore your pain or struggle. Perhaps having a accountability partner who will listen and provide space for you to vent. I never compare my situation with others because my hell could be their paradise. You are a strong and wonderful lady who is navigating the single parenting role. Use your community and church as a way to regain energy. If a church member could watch the kids for an hour while you grab a nap…might be a good thing. I read your post and I am sending prayers. I’m praying for a change in your situation and or people to be available in your life to be available in your time of need. Thanks for your bravery in sharing your heart.

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